Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
