if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
