Got a toothbrush?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
