Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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