I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
