with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
wow bdsm is so cute
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
