My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
