we made out on top of his cat.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
