i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
