Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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