I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
