He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
