it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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