Whatcha textin bout Willis?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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