its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
