corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
