Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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