That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm too high and old for this...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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