I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
