You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My balls are so social today.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
