I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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