She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
