i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
