I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
