dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
