I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
