I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
