My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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