I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
