I look better un-naked...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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