i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
