so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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