I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
