I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
