I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My room smells like vodka and shame
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
