I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
