she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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