It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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