nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
