Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
someone owes me an orgasm
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
