just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
