She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
