Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Your penis caused this!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
