I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
