what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
