I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
