Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
