So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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