Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
my poor anus
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
