also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Randomize
