I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
